And...

Yes I have not been on here much lately. Due to being busy and strange computer issues. I had my interview on Friday and it went well. I was told that I had some impressive things in my portfolio. We spent the weekend swimming, golfing, shopping, and hitting the casino. It was so much fun. I cannot wait to do it again. Today I worked on painting my moms kitchen while waiting for the phone call about the job decision. Turns out that I did not get the job. :( They want someone with early childhood experience. So I guess 6 years in spec ed preschool doesn't count as early childhood exp. He also said that he wants someone with kindergarten experience. How am I going to get experience if no one hires me?? Job hunting is such a drag. My spirits are down from not getting the job. It is almost Aug. School reg starts around the 10th. I just hope I get a job before school starts....

My spirits are a little low due to not being with child and not having a job. I hope that something good happens in the near future. Please remember me and my husband. This has been a little difficult on both of us.

Job hopes and Baby dreams

I have been off of the net for quite a few days. Wed my mom had knee surgery. I've pretty much been at her house helping her with things. Friday I had an interview for a teaching job. It went pretty well. The principal told me that I had some impressive items in my folder. To me that sounds like a great thing! I will hear something this coming week from the principal. I really hope I get a job.

My lovely hubs and I did a few episodes of baby dancing around my O days. The baby dancing was very exciting! Yesterday we went swimming and I started to have these strong stomach cramps (similar to those that I have when AF is here). AF is scheduled to arrive the 8th, so she has a few days. Maybe something good is happening... Having had the miscarriage I am very hesitant to be excited for any of those pregnant peeps who get preggos right away. I am also a little scared to be excited for myself. I have become stronger since the mc, but don't want to have to go through that ever again.

So here is to hoping that having impressive things and stomach cramps are good signs!

Protesting Mother Nature

Today I have decided to protest mother nature. 1. For the weather being soo crappy and 2. Not allowing me to keep my baby.

1. WE WANT WARM WEATHER!!!!!! Shouldn't Sundays be sunny and cheerful! I guess not. Today it is cloudy and again 65 degrees. BOO!! Where is July? WARM WEATHER! WARM WEATHER!!

2. I WANT MY BABY!!!!!!!! Listen mother nature. You have already given me a taste of parenthood and pregnancy. I want my child. Why the crap did you take him/her away? You best figure out real soon to get me preggos again! I WANT BABY! I WANT BABY!

Get out April, Come back July

I am soo jealous of those of you with super nice weather today. I look on the weather map and it shows other parts of the county in warm sunny weather. Not INDIANA!!! It is only 65 and cloudy today. And no that's not a typo. HELLO! What happened to July?

Jobless Me

I've begun to think that the reason I have not been blessed with a living baby is due to my joblessness. So God doesn't want me to carry a luvly baby to full term b/c I yet to find a job. So why is it then that people on welfare and other government services have children all the time?! I am getting a little frustrated. I have my degree, my license to work in this glorious state, yet I cannot find a job, and cannot keep a baby alive inside of me long enough to see his/her face exploding out of my VanChina. Maybe God doesn't want me to have a child right now while I am job hunting. WHEN!!!!!! When will I have the honor and privilidge of having a beautiful child growing inside of me and seeing him/her living outside of me!? Its just frustrating that people on drugs, and other nonmedical related substances have children and those of us that are healthier have the most difficulties!! UGH!

So my healthy living habit was blown out the window today.
Breakfast: Left over calzone
Lunch: McDonalds
Dinner: More pizza, breadsticks, and coke
Exercise: Swimming (the only thing I did right today)

This has been a bad health day for me. I dont remember eating this bad before, but I probably have. I feel disgusting! That could be due to my sore mood about not conceiving. Maybe I need to go on a walk with the hubs to relive some stresses. That might help...

Flood Gates

So we just got back from our local pizza place (Pizza Barn). It was pretty emotional. A lady that we have not seen since we found out we had a miscarriage came up to me and asked how me and baby are doing. She was also asking if I've been really sick. I didnt know what to do. I couldnt tell her. I just sat there looked at Josh and the flood gates almost opened. He told her what happened and she backed off. That was hard. I honestly still feel like crying about this situation. I never knew how hard it would be to talk to other people besides my board ladies and my family about my losing my child. Let alone tell those who dont know it happened. I found myself stuffing my face with food just to get out of there. Where are you little baby? I didnt know having people ask about symptoms or me and my lost child would be so hard.

"I wish you were fat."

Over the past few days I have had people come up to me and ask if I have lost some weight. I really haven't been trying until today. I have seen some change in my weight over the past few weeks, I am able to wear a skirt that I was not able last year. WOOT! That is exciting news.

Today I was modeling myself in front of our full length mirror wondering if I truly in fact have lost some weight. I held my shirt up and walk to Josh and ask him if I look like I've lost weight. He says "You have, but I wish you were fat." At first I was like woah, did he just say he wanted me to be fat. What the crap!! I gave him this look like you better take that back before I gut you. The he states that I should be fat with baby. I then realize what he is talking about. If we would still be preggos we would be in our 3rd month. I might have started to show a little. He was wanting me to be fat with baby. It bites that I am not fat with baby. I want to have baby Buddha belly....

See bee, hide under table

If you have been reading my posts you know my unfortunate dancing act with bees, wasps, insects of the stinging nature. Today I am sitting here at the computer looking through the never ending job searches when a humongous bee comes in a dead flight path towards my face. I start jumping around and screaming like a nut (yes, again!) and Josh is sitting in the chair reading. He looks at me as if I have completely lost my mind (which I could have, especially when those strange dangerous things are flying towards my head). He asks me what this bee dancing is all about. I told him about the huge bee, you know the one the size of my head with the killer stinger, and point to the window where it now rests waiting to antagonize its prey.

Josh gets the flyswatter and heads towards the bee. Our beloved lab Rosco is asleep on the couch when all of the sudden dad swats at something and wakes him up. Josh is doing the same bee dance as I was while Rosco and I hide under the kitchen table, in fear of our lives. With a little more dancing Josh decides to give up with this pest and bring out the real ammo, a plastic container with lid and Lysol spray. He gracefully, yet forcefully, places the container over the dreaded beast, sprays a little Lysol (not sure why, but he does. Maybe he wanted to piss the bee of a little more than he had during his ode to flyswatter dancing bee act), then slips a piece of paper over the container trapping the bee inside. He then releases the bee to the outside world. I then emerge from my hiding under the table, when you start to hear a thumping sound. Great the bee is back with avengance! We look down and our beloved Rosco is wagging his tail hitting the floor. His expression is "YAY daddy!! You killed that thing! Now let me have the couch. I need me some more zzz's."

So yes, another bee catastrophe has been avoided at the Hunt house. Until next time little pests.

Healthy life in hopes for baby

Before we had our positive home pregnancy test in April I made a life change. We went to the gym three times a week, ate healthy, and lived a happy lifestyle. I continued to remain in this healthy situation through my pregnancy, until I was hit with the load of bricks: miscarriage. After having the miscarriage I fell apart. I didn't care about my body. Why should I be healthy if I was just going to lose the baby anyway. I became a couch potato. I really didn't like the lifestyle I was tunneling towards. I began to eat a little healthier, but not like before. I started cleaning my house again. I want a change. I want something exciting and refreshing in my life in hopes to develop a growing fetus that transforms into our future child. I want a baby!!

Today I am making a vow to start to live a healthier life. A life rich in great food, exercise, laughter, love, fun, and relaxation. I want to have a healthy life. I want to be healthy for our unborn children. I am being hopeful that this change will help our conceiving journey. I believe it will, since it did those few months ago.

The Plan

Food:
* smaller portions - eat out of saucers or small plates
*antioxidants - green tea, blueberries, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli (5 servings a day)
*fiber - oatmeal, brown rice, wheat pasta, 100% whole grain, beans (25mg a day)
*Omega 3 - Fish, flax seed, walnuts, olive oil
*veggies - eat directed amount of servings a day
*fruit - eat directed amount of servings a day

Exercise:
*three times a week
*cardio - 20 minutes with my heart rate at 156
*weight training - 10 minutes lunges, leg lifts, pull ups, free weights
*yoga - 10 minutes
*relaxation - 5 minutes of meditation, prayer, breather every day

Vitamins:
*Need to start taking my prenatal again
*add in Vit D due to low count at last dr visit
*more calcium

Sleep and Sex:
*7-8 hours of sleep (I tend to get more)
*2-3 sex days (we really lack in this area)
*no electronics 10 minutes before going to bed
*be adventurous, sleep naked
*dim the lights



I am hoping that this detailed plan keeps me on track. I am going to enlist the help and support of my husband. I am going to help him get back on track as well. I am also going to write about my healthy journey to having a family in hopes that it will create a positive outcome. This is going to be a new chapter in my life that will last. I am ready to start something new. I am ready to be healthier. I will start tomorrow morning. New day, new lifestyle.

Hello VanChina, Your not supposed to be doing this!

My husband is such a cute little bugger! (Yes I called him a bugger! I can do that, I'm the wife.) He told me a story from his childhood a few days ago and it made me laugh me butt off!!! The story of VanChina.

My hubs and his cousin Bry were walking around the small wicked town they lived in as kids screaming at the top of their lungs a new word they just encountered: VanChina. What in the world is VanChina you might ask. Well a VanChina is the female reproductive part, you know vagina. They thought that it was the coolest word in the world. Little did they know at the time what a powerful weapon it was.

So here I am today telling my VanChina that she is not supposed to be having flow. She is supposed to be holding in a child. You know the one that we conceived in April, but lost. How mean can my VanChina be! Way to go VanChina, way to go!!

AF is only confirmation that your not preggos

So here I am waiting and waiting for some good news in my life. Wanting some news that would make my life a little more enjoyable. Like congrats you have a job. Maybe congrats your pregnant. But AF (Aunt Flo) arrives early!!!! She reminds me each month that I lost our first child. She gives me confirmation that I am indeed not preggos. How sick is she! Just once I would like her to stay away for 9 months. I already had her gone for one month, can we please add eight more!! I know that we get to try again, but...well just but. Eventually one day we will have a child. I want a sticky child!!! When I told Josh that AF was here he was a little bumbed. Then he asked about my ovulation day. I told him when it should be and he marked it on the calendar. He said that around my O day we are going to live in bed. I have two days left with my AF visitation. Let us hope that she doesn't make a return in August.

Childhood Wishes

I think about Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (the original one, not the ones they make now) every time I hear the phrase "childhood wishes." Although I can say for sure that if they made chocolate dishes that you could eat, I might try eating them. :) On the other hand I am not to shabby about licking wallpaper. How many people have licked that same exact spot before me? Its actually quite disgusting if you think about it. *insert sick face here*

So I began to think about my childhood wishes today. What did I really want from my childhood? Why were those things so important to me then, and not so important now? Who makes the rules that says we cannot accomplish our childhood dreams as adults? Does that make us too childish and not adult like? As I see it we need to come face to face with our inner child and not be such boring adults. So many adults have become machines, programed to be the grown-up and do things that are not so fun. I say we need to break out of that nutty shell and become adults with hints of children shining through. If you have read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch you know that fulfilling childhood dreams is what its all about. So I have set to achieve some of my childhood dreams.

Dream 1 ~ Get married to the most wonderful man in the universe. You know the one that looks like a super model and has a heart of gold.
*Accomplished! I have a wonderful husband.

Dream 2 ~ Become a teacher.
*So this one is halfway accomplished. I have my state teaching license just no job, yet.

Dream 3 ~ Have a family.
*We are so working on this one. We do have an angel baby, Baby H. Hopefully one of our beans will stick and we can have a baby to hold. When I was a child I thought it would be easy pesy to have children. Boy, was I wrong! Its hard work, but the practicing is sooo much fun!

Dream 4 ~ Don't give up on my favorite food.
* Jackpot!!! I accomplished this one today! I had the lovely Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast. This cereal is da bomb!!! Now I might have to go to the gym for a while to work off all of the sugar, but it was sooo much fun to eat!


So these are some of the dreams that I have accomplished. I am going to look inside myself and see what other dreams are in there. Hopefully I can fulfill them all.

What makes me stronger?

From time to time, I have contemplated how I have become such a strong independent woman. It is probably due to all of the obstacles I have had to overcome in such a short time of my life. Some of these things are not so pleasant, which they shouldn't be, others are pure miracles. Honestly, how can one grow out of easy situations? I believe that those times in our lives that are challenging and make us feel like "its the end of the world" are the things of which we learn the most. These are the things have made me who I am.

Oh the joy to be a teenager. During high school I had several issues. I was the socially awkward teenage girl that really didn't fit anywhere. Little friends, younger boyfriends, and a family life that wasn't really suitable for social or emotional development. Not to mention the endless times in physical therapy and two surgeries.

Oh the joy of the lunch line. I was 16 years young standing in line with my friends waiting for the wonderful school lunch (hint of sarcasm here). I noticed this strange lump in the fold of my elbow on my left arm. I told my parents and they shipped me off to the doctors office. Oh the wonderful doctor! He decided that he was going to cut me open and just take the mass out, keep in mind he just decided this without running any tests or xrays. On the day of the scheduled removal of this thing embedded in my arm he had an ingenious thought. He had just finished giving a local operation (the same he was going to do to me) to a girl with a "similar" mass in her back, except her mass started floating around. He thought "geeze if the mass starts floating around in her arm I could really do some damage." To my relief he cancelled my surgery and sent me to get tests. Now wouldn't you do the test before you scheduled surgery?? Just a thought. I went through some tests and they decided to send me to a hand/arm specialist in a suburb of Indy. I went through even more tests: MRI, CTs, Xray.. Found out that I had a tumor wrapped around all of the nerves in my arm. So we needed to do a test to see if it was cancer. This test would be a needle biopsy. WOW! When they inserted the thing into the mass my arm started to tingle and sting. Before we had the results all I could think was "I have cancer. I'm going to lose my hair!" I found my cry to be that of a sever thunderstorm. Strong downpours with no sign of let up. When we finally got the results I was preparing myself for death by arm cancer. When I heard those words "The tumor is bi nine. You don't have cancer," I about jumped through the roof. However, it needed to be removed or it would start damaging my arm. They removed 100% of the tumor. He told me that I would probably not have full motion in my arm. Hearing that I thought that I would never get to play my musical instrument again. That put me in a really sad mood. Then I was told that there was a chance that the tumor could return. I also found that it was very unusual for the tumor to be in my arm, as they are more common in backs. After a few weeks of home therapy I went back to the doctor. To his amazement I have full use of my arm. Miracle #1 ~ I am able to use my arm with little issues. Thank you Jesus for my arm!

Ever since I was 8 years old I have had some really bad knee issues. I was born with my knee caps not in the right location. They were up and to the outside of my legs, yes both knees in the wrong spot. My knee issue is inherited on my mothers side. My grandmother had to have both of her knees replaced. Having my knees in the wrong location made for pain. My knees dislocated all the time. My knee cap would come out of place and be on the side of my leg. Thus me falling to the ground and screaming my head off due to the immense pain. The only person that can put it back in place is my grams. She would have to come to our house and put them in every time they dislocated. One time in high school gym my knee came out, but thankfully it went back in. My gym teacher made fun of me for my physical imperfection. To this day I don't like that man. When my knees dislocate I have to wrap them up, ice them down, elevate above my heart, and learn how to walk. For one day I am stuck on the couch in the healing process. Day two, I learn to walk even though the pain is killer. After I graduated high school in 2001, I went to have my left knee operated on. My surgeon was the one that did the knee operations for the Indianapolis Colts. I was in pretty good hands. My surgery consisted of moving my knee cap to the correct place in my leg, tightening the muscles and tendinitis on the inside of my leg, and having three screws put in the bone below my knee (I can feel and see the screws). I guess while I was in surgery my knee came out and he was so amazed that he had interns look at me. Strange having people look at me while I am knocked out and barely dressed. So my surgery went well. I had loads of physical therapy as I went through my freshman year of college. I hated using crutches, so when I started to feel better I didn't use them. I even went ice skating. Probably not a good idea, but I had fun and didn't get injured. One thing that my knee dr told me was that he was really surprised that I am able to walk. My knees are so bad that I shouldn't be walking. Miracle #2 ~ I can walk, even though my knees are bad. I still have three more knee surgeries to go. The surgery that was done on my left will be done to my right. Then I will have to have two surgeries to remove the screws from my knees. The dr said the scerws would start hurting and I would have to have them taken out. So far, the three that I have in my left leg don't bother me to much.

When I was 17, I fell out of love with my father. I didn't want him as a father anymore. I really didn't want him in my life. Not many people know that my father was very abusive, physically and emotionally, to me and my mom, not to mention an drunk. It was Saturday, April 21, 2001 and he was in a terrible mood. He was mad that the computer was broken. He wanted me to fix it, while he yelled and cussed. I became tired of listening to him yell. I got up from the computer and started walking to my room. I wanted to be alone, much like I wanted everyday. The next think I knew I was on my back on the floor with him sitting on my stomach. (He is a 6'5" 280lbs man) He was hitting me, pulling me up with my hair and slamming my head down on the floor. Yelling, cussing, hitting me while I lie under him crying and fighting to break free. I thought he was going to kill me. I had bruises all over my body and had to hid them when I went to school on Monday with longer sleeves and jeans. I didn't talk. I was dating Josh at the time and he knew what happened. Ever since he wouldn't let me alone with my father. I really didn't want to be alone with him. I found out that when my mom was 9 months preggos with my little sister he held a loaded gun to her stomach. When I was 22 I had enough of his abuse and moved out. I moved in with Josh so I could be safe. He still abused my mother. Last year my mom caught him with another woman. He became mad and put bruises all over her. He told her that he didn't care about my mom or me and didn't care what he did to us. Thankfully they divorced this year. He is still abusing my mom, not physically, but emotionally. He calls her all the time. She isn't strong enough yet to not answer the phone. A few months ago he was really mad and went to my moms house and said he was going to kill some people and then left. Mom called the state police. I called them the next day b/c he was threatening to take parts out of my car and harassing my husband and I by texting, calling, and driving by our house. The thing is, my dad is a cop. I don't think he should be. I think that the reason for my socially awkwardness in high school is do to the abuse that I endured throughout my life living with him. I know don't take crap from men. I have a wonderful husband who is the complete opposite of my dad. I am thankful that my husband has helped me build my self confidence and pushed me to become more social. One sad thing about this situation is that my sister has married someone like my dad. She doesn't see it yet, but her life is just like what we had growing up. I only pray that she gets out, but he has pulled her away from us. I no longer have a relationship with my sister b/c of the man she married. The man that is identical to my father.

My grandmother was the most important person in my life. She was so full of life, love, and happiness. I only dream of being like her. When I started my second freshman year of college in 2004 she had a stroke.Seeing her in the state of disoriented mind really hurt. She wasn't my grams. She was someone that took over her body and mind. I knew she wasn't going to get better. I wanted her to be at my wedding. In June 2006 we married and she was able to witness one of the happiest days of my life. Sadly the same year, two days after Christmas she passed away. That was one of the hardest times in my life, but I am thankful that she is no longer in pain. I only wish that she could have seen me have children, but she has my angel baby with her. My first daughter will be named after her. She was Mary Magdalene. My daughter will be Makayla Magdalene. I love my grams. I know she watches over me every day.

In April 2009, my husband and I finally had a BFP (big fat positive) on HPT (home pregnancy test). We were so excited. Josh wanted to tell the world that we were finally going to become parents. We told all of our family members, they were very happy for us. Then over Easter weekend I started to bleed. The bleeding increased and I went to the ER. I called Josh from work to come be with me. We had a miscarriage...This was one of the darkest times in my life. I sat around the house, mostly on the couch or in bed, for two weeks. Not answering the phone, not wanting visitors, only reading. I rarely took showers. Didn't want to eat, but Josh mad me. I didn't like the fact that I lost my child, my Baby H. Now I am able to start ttc again, but it has been hard. I'm worried that I will have another mc. Worried that I may not become pregnant. Its tough, but I'm going to survive.

Having gone through many obstacles in my life I have become stronger. I will continue to grow strong every day. My only hope is that I can help my future children to become strong and independent.

May 10, 2009 When Treadmills Attack

Embarrassment is one of those things that you just have to laugh at, pick yourself up, and try again. Today at the gym I had a moment of huge embarrassment!! I had I fight with the treadmill and it won. Sadly I have battle scars. So I'm walking on the treadmill at a 3.8 rate of speed with 1.0 inclination. Minding my own business and listening to my music on my blackberry. So I'm walking great, enjoying the workout. All of the sudden out of no where my phone comes flying at me at full force. It creeps me out and I loose my footing. I do a face plant, yes a FACE PLANT, into the treadmill and then slide off. It looked like one of those cartoons where the character falls off the treadmill and goes flying through the air and hits the wall. After I fell flat on my face and flew off of the treadmill. I sit on the floor in the gym totally in shock and embarrassed. The guy on the treadmill next to me, who happened to look like one of those hott movie stars that you would love to meet and just touch, takes off his headset and looks at me and says "Hey honey, are you okay?? You took a pretty mean fall." I told him I was fine and then he continued "Well at least I know I'm not the only one who does a face plant on one of these things. You sure you’re okay?" I assure him for probably the third time that I'm fine. Then he looks at me and smiles then puts his headset back on his cute head. I didn't want the treadmill to win, so I got back up and tried again! Everything was going great. I started to feel a little wobbly. I felt like a weeble. You know weebles wobble but they don't fall down. I thought I was going to fall down. I decided it was time to pack up and leave the gym while I still had a small slice of my dignity. I drive the 20 minute drive home. When I got home I looked at my battle scars. OUCH! I thought I felt like I was bleeding. Sure enough I was. So the score for the battle with the treadmill:
Stacy – 0

Treadmill - 2

How to Kill a Wasp

Step 1: Get the fly-swatter and ease your way to the wasp.
Step 2: Wait for it!! Wait for the wasp to land on something (and a window screen does not count!! as I found out). Smack it hard!
Step 3: As the wasp is flying towards your head looking very angry run run as fast as you can!! Screaming all around the house. Jump up and down and spin in circles to make sure it is not on you.
Step 4: Go back into the laundry room to find that he is still on the window screen moving his wings. He looks very angry.
Step 5: Decided to avoid the laundry room until the hubs gets home to take care of the pesky varmint.

Did you know that if you google search “How to Kill a Wasp” you get 1,340,000 hits!? I mean really how many ways are there to kill those pesky little varmints!! Of course I’ve tried doing it my way. You know, running around the house screaming like a complete idiot that looks like I should be locked up. Dancing around the house like someone has caught me on fire just to get away from the stingy little bug. Why on Earth are those things so hard to get rid of? Obviously we need 1,340,000 ways to help us kill the insect. I suppose just a shoe or fly-swatter just won’t do! So I decided why not try some of these ways to see which one is the best possible solution for the fatality of the wasp. This is my journey in killing a wasp!!
So one idea that I found out of the 1,340,000 was that you can become a ninja and permanently disable and rid of the small creature. So the idea is that you take a pair of scissors and cut the trouble-maker in half. First off, I am not one that wants to be that close to something that could cause me immense pain! This idea may work, but me I’m too much of a chicken to even begin to try this one out! So on to the next possible heart splitting solution to kill a pesky wasp.
Apparently there is a redneck way to kill a wasp. According to the informational video you should take a can of hair spray and a lighter to make a torch. Burn the stinking wasps. Well what happens if you burn yourself? I could see many great things happening with this one. Maybe my firefighter husband can burn the sucker!!!