tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63221869350169620382024-03-21T17:11:13.567-07:00Bits and pieces of becoming a momTrying to have a baby doesnt always have a happy beginning.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.comBlogger135125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-44696305942916065682014-06-27T08:21:00.002-07:002014-06-27T08:21:23.661-07:00TimeThere are days where I feel like time is standing still. Like I'm running and running towards our dream and nothing changes. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in a hole, and I have to work harder and harder to get myself back on land where the sun shines. This battle that I am fighting, this journey that I have been traveling, has changed my(our) life. Things look differently. You can't watch the news, because it breaks your heart to see all of these people making bad choices and harming their children. I don't understand why people would do such thing. It breaks my heart. Then you have my husband and myself who are pouring out our hearts to try to have just one child. Just one. We have so many babies in heaven, but none in our arms. I wish we had one in our arms. Just one. I know we are great parents. I know that we can offer so much to a child. I just want to have that chance. I want to be given the chance to have a child in our arms. A chance to have a biological child.<br />
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Sometimes I wish time would hurry, but I know that I need to enjoy this ride that I'm on. This path that I have been given. This journey to parenthood.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-4010828855555192232014-06-19T08:40:00.003-07:002014-06-19T08:40:40.628-07:00Tubal, SIS, money.......future?Yes.............I have drifted away.....again...................<br />
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That's what happens when I'm off busily making the most of life. (or trying to avoid)<br />
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Soo.....Where did I leave off? Oh yes, I had my lap. I am so grateful for that surgery. It was nice to know that I had that uterine septum and it was removed. What really bummed me out was the fact that the promise that I would have a child by that summer, was a LIE! All lies. In fact, I did have another pregnancy. Like always it ended in doom. It actually started off with doom.<br />
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Nov. 7, 2013 ~ We found out we were pregnant. J and I were both excited that we were in fact pregnant again and it would have been a summer baby. HOWEVER, we did not know that this pregnancy would change our life. things started out great. My numbers were increasing beautifully. We go in for our first ultrasound, and the tech couldn't find the baby. So we waited. Maybe it was hiding??? More blood work, and my HCG kept rising, but not so much with my progesterone. Back for another ultrasound, and still no baby. The baby was in my tubes. Yes, I was having an ectopic pregnancy in my left tube. Not only was I pregnant, but it was going to kill me if things didn't happen quickly. I took the methotrexate shot. YIKES! It was painful. Not the shot itself, but the actual shot working in my system. Then it took FOREVER for my HCG to return to normal. And to this day we never got a below 5 rating. In March, it was still at 10. So we stopped.<br />
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In April, I had to have yet another HSG. PAINFUL! I had this procedure done at a different facility, without my RE. First of all, they didn't have the right size of clamps. So the radiologist was pushing and pushing on the clamps to try to get the dye into my uterus. Then came the burning, the crying, the cramping. I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I lay there crying. And I couldn't stop. So here I am on this table. Clamps being shoved into me. A male radiology student staring at the wall (imagine how uncomfortable he was). All while I am crying like a.......well......a woman who has lost all of her children because of her hostile body.<br />
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Come to find out...my tubes...are not so good now. Thank you ectopic pregnancy! You're the best! HA!<br />
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Dr. G gave us a new choice. 1. to have another lap to fix my tubes, but the risk of tubals is greater. or 2. IVF. Imagine all of the thousands of dollars we have spent on TTC already. We have exhausted our savings account. We have tried EVERYTHING. And now he is telling me that I need $15k to have a baby! I dont have that kind of money. We are living on a teacher's and state workers salary. Jokes on you, that's what I make in half a year. It will take us 4 YEARS to save up the money with the money that we put into our savings. 4 YEARS! That would mean I would be 35 and finally trying to go through IVF. But here's the kicker. It might not work! That could be $15k down the drain, or it could be the babies that we have always dreamed of. J and I decided we needed to talk before making any rash decisions. Then Dr. G suggested that we have a SIS (saline ultrasound) done to see if he can even preform an IVF procedure on me.<br />
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June 16, 2014 ~ SIS. Once again my wonderful high cervix played hard to get, so another uncomfortable experience. Turns out he can get to everything for IVF. My body looks great and all my hormones are awesome! Now why can't I STAY PREGNANT! Could it be that my implantation isn't that great because my cycles are super short. Between that and my APS, I'm a real puzzle. So then we are back to the discussion of IVF or surgery.<br />
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I get to the car and am a total mess. I cried from 4:00 pm until 12:30 am. (I'm not kidding over 8 hrs of crying, sobbing really.) What are we going to do? I want to have a family. I want to be able to experience pregnancy. At least once. But we don't have the money. What am I going to do!?<br />
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With my eyes swollen shut from crying the day before, I set out my search on google. I decided to make a gofundme account to raise money for this. I hate doing that. I hate asking people for help. I hate asking people for money. I don't want to do this, but I don't know what to do...... I feel like a failure. I feel like I have failed my husband. Like I've failed my life, my children......myself....This journey has been the hardest journey for me. Harder than anything. It has left me emotionally and financially drained. And we still don't having living children. This sucks....I don't understand why it has to be so hard for us, and easy for others. Why people who kill there children through abortion or acts of cruelness can have those babies, and I can't have mine? It's not fair that we have lost every child. We have a great home. A great life. A great family. Great jobs....<br />
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I need everyone to pray. Pray that we find the money to have children. Pray that whatever we decide to do works and we end up with a baby in our arms, not another loss. Pray that we make the right decision. Pray. Just pray.<br />
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If you know of any other ways to save, raise, or find money for treatments, please let me know. If you would like to donate to our journey please visit our gofundme account at <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/af3xzo">http://www.gofundme.com/af3xzo</a><br />
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<br />Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-37075258124735214562013-07-01T06:43:00.001-07:002013-07-01T06:43:32.383-07:00FreeI am finally feeling pain/uncomfortable free from my surgery. Having the balloon cath taken out lifted so much off of me! It feel like the gates opened and the angels began to sing!<br />
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Now I still am unable to workout for a few more weeks, but my body needs to heal. <br />
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Good news! We can start trying again in August! I cannot believe that I will be holding my child by this time next year!!!!! I never thought I would hear those words.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-51068552124330879952013-06-22T09:12:00.001-07:002013-06-22T09:12:37.810-07:004 days post op<p dir=ltr>It has been four days since my laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. The pain from the gas was gone yesterday. Now I am left with cramping from the catheter. It is starting to slowly come out. I can feel it. I am hoping it comes out on its own. I know once it does I will be more comfortable. And I might be able to sleep!</p>
Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-91040854382226354372013-06-19T11:32:00.000-07:002013-06-19T11:32:19.115-07:00SurgeryYesterday I had a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy. Basically they had several different scopes going into my body to look at my reproductive system. They filled me full of gas to help them get a better visual of my organs.<br />
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The Result:<br />
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I have a slight case of endo. So slight that he doesn't have any concern about it and removed it. I also have a VERY enlarged septum. He put a cath in it to help drain it. He knows for a fact that this is one of the reasons my body has not allowed my pregnancies to mature. I will have the cath in until next Wednesday when I go into the office for my follow up.<br />
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I was very sore yesterday. It could be the gas build up, or just the results from the surgery. I am very thankful that he discovered this problem. I've always been told that my uterus "looks" funny. Now we know why. So this girl who has APS and an enlarged septum is told that she will have a baby in her arms by this time next year!<br />
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I sure hope he is right about that! Five years and five miscarriages under my belt should yield me some reward. I think having a living baby in my arms will do the trick! :)Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-26851021666871287642013-06-17T07:15:00.003-07:002013-06-17T07:15:57.544-07:00Owned<div dir="ltr">
Man....I am beat!!! I found this great group on Facebook that pushes you towards your fitness goals. Right now we are into a 30 day challenge. Each day the admin sends us a workout to complete. The workout consists of body weight training. Such as push ups, crunches, squats, Russian twists, and lunges. Each day she adds more reps or changes up the routine. Let me tell you, this girl is AMAZING!!! I love the workouts. I love the feeling that I have after I complete each day. To top it off I add my own elliptical training or walking into the mix. I'm going to add zumba back in starting in August. AND I have another 5k to do in July (The Color Run). I did this run last year with a group of friends and it was AMAZING! Now I am not allowed to run as I have terrible, like how are you able to walk terrible, knees. So I walk the 5k. And I am okay with that. I know my limits. I know where I want to go. I see the end goal in site! I am excited to be a part of this adventure as I am hoping that it helps with my baby making. We all know how many pounds those wonderful fertility drugs add to your body. Not to mention the numerous times I've been pregnant and gained some baby weight. It has to come off! I don't want this weight any more!</div>
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Speaking of baby making. I am supposed to have my laparoscopy tomorrow. But my body has different plans. I think we are going to have to reschedule....I feel like I keep having to reschedule this test/surgery. I am ready to be able to have a child! One that looks like me, or my husband (I really hope he/she has his dimples).</div>
Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-10606678089534257102013-06-10T08:00:00.001-07:002013-06-10T08:00:06.193-07:00Why?<p dir=ltr>Why do people who know that you were expecting and lost the pregnancy announce their pregnancy just days after you find out your miscarrying?</p>
Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-70669666295537610462013-05-31T11:23:00.000-07:002013-05-31T11:23:43.841-07:00Say What??It has been a really long time since I have posted in here. A lot of you probably have forgotten my existence. I have been very busy with work and life in general. Let's see.....<br />
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I had an HSG done a few months ago. I was expecting it to be painful, as I googled and youtubed about the procedure, but I wasn't expecting it to feel like that. First off, the clamps he put in were too short, so he tried to shove them inside me. OWIE!!! I've never felt pain like that in my life. Not sure if it was really pain, or just plain uncomfortable. During the "wonderful" procedure we found that my tubes are clear (YAY), but my uterus is small and oddly shaped.<br />
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So I have a small uterus...........<br />
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Dr. G then wanted me to have an laparoscopy completed. I had my round of labs for that the last week of March. I am at school with my kids on our last day before spring break when I get a call that would change my life. "I have great news! You're pregnant!!!" My hcg level was low, but they figured it was just really early. <br />
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Being high risk, I get the pleasure of having several labs drawn and many prenatal appointments. With each set of labs, my hcg went up, but not by much. It doubled once....then went up a few points for the rest, where it eventually came to a stop and drop around 10 wks gestation. I was yet again having a miscarriage of my 5th, yes 5th pregnancy. The heparin and prometrium were not able to save this one. <br />
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I went through the miscarriage naturally and survived. Again. It is unfortunate that I know how to handle my grief through loss, because I have experienced so many.<br />
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This week, I called my RE and scheduled my HSG. I will have this procedure done on the 18th of June. He thinks that I could have endo (but I don't think I do) and he also wants to go check things out to get a better picture of my reproductive system. <br />
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After the HSG I am not sure what direction we will head. Will we go the natural route? Will we take all that medication? I guess it depends on the results.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-69756518664056460462012-06-11T17:05:00.000-07:002012-06-11T17:05:03.157-07:00LifeI cannot believe that I have not been on here in almost a year! WOW..... There really hasn't been anything new in the baby world. I still have APS. My RE put me on a whole list of medications and follistim. With each round everything looked great, I just didn't end up pregnant. With our last medicated cycle and no pregnancy my RE decided that he wants to up the follistim to 100IU instead of 75. BUT, I need a break. I am financially and emotionally torn. My heart breaks whenever I hear of a pregnancy announcement. It will be 4 years in August, how can other people become pregnant so easily. I just dont understand it. <br />
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My husband and I decided that we both needed a break. TTC has really taken a toll on our life, but it has not damaged us. We will try again. It may be a while, but we will. I want to become pregnant so I can feel the baby growing inside me, but for now we wait. We relax. We work on things to keep our minds occupied, like positive affirmations for fertility. "I am fertile."Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-80513593601068794482011-07-01T06:35:00.000-07:002011-07-01T06:36:13.489-07:00SomedaySomeday I will be a mommy to living children. I'm just not sure when that will be.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-65073793490313392222011-06-30T06:45:00.000-07:002011-06-30T06:48:57.543-07:00Dear God,As I am about to make my way to the hospital, I ask that you please lord, let here be a baby in there. Let my labs show a good hcg level that is correct with my 4wk 5d pregnancy. Please Jesus, let this be true. Let this be happening to in my life at this very moment. Thank you for doctors to find a cause and a cure for all of my miscarriages. I know those babies are up there in heaven watching over me. I know that you are taking care of them. Lord, please let there be a baby growing healthy in me right now.<br /><br />Peace out Jesus<br />love, meMrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-36697325082482595782011-06-30T05:51:00.001-07:002011-06-30T05:55:45.434-07:00Dear home pregnancy tests,Over the past few days (11 to be exact) I have taken several tests only to have them show up negative. My period is 11 day late! You would think that something is going on with my body, like hello a pregnancy!!??!! Yesterday I was so ill. So I decided to use one of your sisters a Clear Blue Easy. Look! What was that! Is that a line! I hold it up to the light call my husband into the room to stare at you. Yep. There it is a faint, faint line. It's about time! I decided to take two more of you, one last night and one this morning, and both had faint faint line. I guess it is time to call the RE. Thank you dear hpt for showing me a "I hope it is positive" test. I just wish you would have shown me sooner. I truly hope you are right!<br /><br />love,<br />meMrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-18664996568306569212011-06-29T10:54:00.000-07:002011-06-29T10:59:50.175-07:00YuckThis past cycle has been the strangest for me. First off my period is 10 days late. On the day of which she should have arrived I had 6 days of spotting. Yes six. No flow nothing. I have take 4 tests, all negative.<br /><br />Today I feel horrid. I could not sleep at all last night. Kept tossing and turning, because I felt the need to puke. Around 5 am I in fact was face planted in the porcelain thrown throwing up dinner from last even. After that I felt fine. I was able to get a few hours of sleep. All I feel now, is weakness and well the occasional nausea. The husband has been soo good throughout this. He has given me washcloths, crackers, sprite, and chicken noodle soup. Then he lets out, "It's probably morning sickness. Wouldn't that be great!" I really do enjoy his optimism. I made him go buy another test for me. If nothing, then I will be calling for blood work.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-5325465039176312822011-06-27T06:48:00.000-07:002011-06-27T06:59:32.154-07:00Childhood lovesThe book I'm currently reading, <u>The Happiness Project</u>, has really given me some incites on what it is to be happy and how to bring happiness into my life.<br /><br />One chapter in the book discussed how to put more fun into your daily routine. She gave several strategies, but one that really caught my attention was to bring back things that you enjoyed in your childhood.<br /><br />So I though, "what did I do in my childhood that made me the happiest?"<br /><br />I thought that it would be one of those questions where I had to sit and think forever. Or I thought that, well maybe this could help, but I doubt it. I decided to put these things to the test and it actually worked. It actually infused happiness into my life for that split second.<br /><br />What did I do?<br />1. Coloring (this was very relaxing)<br />2. Playdough (love the smell)<br />3. Hula Hoop (gives me my workout too)<br />4. Cutting out pictures in a magazine of what I want for my future<br /><br /><br />Now I pose this question: What did you enjoy as a child that would bring much happiness to your life?Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-6107873997887317452011-06-26T16:50:00.000-07:002011-06-26T16:52:57.398-07:00SpeedThe weekends just seem to be going faster and faster. Could it be that we have been extremely busy working on our newly purchased house to get it ready for insurance??<br /><br />I say yes.<br /><br />This could also be the cause of my crazy AF, well lack there of. But I am less stressed than I was a few days ago. I am hoping that she decides to show.<br /><br />It has been nice doing these changes to the house. I enjoy seeing the progress. I just wish the weekends were just a little bit longer. That way we can get more <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">accomplished</span>. And I could get more time with the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">hubster</span>.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-60714284081275305622011-06-24T05:39:00.000-07:002011-06-24T05:47:44.965-07:00APSBeing diagnosed with Anitphospholipid Antibodies Syndrome (APS) has been a blessing and a curse.<br /><br />Blessing: I now know the reason to why I keep having miscarriages.<br /><br />Curse: I have to watch my intake of green veggies because they cause blood clots. And I love me some green veggies.<br /><br />APS is a blood clotting disorder that causes my body to build blood clots to kill anything in my body that isn't me. So that sweet little baby that I have growing inside of me is being attacked and starved of its nutritional supply causing me to have miscarriages.<br /><br />I wish my body wasn't so mean to my unborn children, but it's what I have. I cannot change the fact that I was born with this. I just have to live with it. So if that means taking baby aspirin on a daily basis and becoming a chick with injectables, then that's what I'll do. Even though the lovely heparin gives me bruises, those bruises are there for love. For the love of the child that I am trying to create for my family.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-28547190754247616152011-06-23T06:46:00.000-07:002011-06-23T06:51:31.417-07:00Curse you PrometrimFather's Day I took a home pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant. The result was negative. That evening I start some spotting. I thought okay AF is going to arrive. Since then I have only had spotting. So I tested again thinking that it was implantation, lo and behold another negative. I called my RE's office today and they said that it is probably my Prometrium slowing things down a bit. I stopped that on Monday. The nurse said it could take a while for it to get out of my system. So this spotting is just a prelude of what is to come. If I don't start flow over the weekend I am to all the dr's office. Please pray that I start or either get a positive test. I just wish something would happen already.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-6810860107575431272011-06-22T05:35:00.001-07:002011-06-22T05:43:08.795-07:00ChangesI'm thinking about changing our master bedroom from something out of a college dorm room as picture below:<br /><br /><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 220px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 131px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621022283876085794" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin0DBFZo3tx-4f1CPtHzWSdxEXt69GrUTAuo3ifUt03LqtkO8I6_6vOEiOFeLz_Rilwer2uV-fdbYlkWyTjEwmSsD_Us-FUhVYXcmDERVPkbNU3pDmllzZN7BoKEig4BUstIWQJQaPJnk/s320/GetAttachment.jpg" /></p><br /><br /><br /><p>To something a little more like this:</p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 263px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621022685913286594" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM8YAz0O07N5u5S3lv_Gpdb_gZE6bqTFCXN4UTS7VVegejFu7YIv-zSWO1dT6QKypxBT-HlJ1cLj9eiTZQKWXZMl5O2TTAux4RHgMFZGcG9pY1zG7IHr1U2vMzDNvg0Nxo7vt9ixcLbPU/s320/walmart_bedroom_resize.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><p></p><br />Yes, the layout would be different. And Yes I do love to sleep in extreme <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">darkness</span>, but I think having this light upbeat color of a room will really boost my mood. The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">transformation</span> of this room will start....July 1st. I'm hoping it brings some happiness into my day. It's yellow. Yellow is the color of sunshine, something that makes me happy. So why not adventure into a yellow master bedroom. <br /><div></div>Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-90032329555331873482011-06-21T10:39:00.000-07:002011-06-21T10:46:16.306-07:00Walk with a ViewI decided to capture the moments in my life when I am out walking with pictures. This way I have some sort of visual reminder of what made me happy while I was walking. These pictures are of a walk I took on our recent vacation to Michigan.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620730325606915954" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTGpVhgIvTH3CwFS3G2oBXcZrUKgbwknDXV34WANNnAGuV5QlFtG8OD7c6Q8lvCK2UPJvrJ0JQw7HEdHzzUFvyXpJ7W8H0MUQARElE0QJKmaPVtms84Y37DJZPtpGAWXaR19oAYD2fino/s320/Michigan+Trip+2011+066.JPG" /><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620730131619048754" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoiks-G8v0j5ALCrs3rF_dxY-u15h6seEMY9T56i10MS_Y65fdORONkcN0RWRxfdpiYSFSy8y1-1DUWkCCT2JF41ghXSAgda707x1VfqSjX9pIfr2kYuQ6DjXmvZ-R4BTiftt04dzu6d0/s320/Michigan+Trip+2011+052.JPG" /><br /><br /><div><br /><div><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620729913010562514" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnfOvrHvKqpd3exTCm52RDpqjmy305DgQAEvYvKUx8F3jUCX1nertiMAhg4ouexOMdp_R9Gf3MwhS_Da_5Sinql9FSDq68yznorcBH8ihi7Yhh1uAeuBYsNlWN92PNII9vqF0wS_43ck/s320/Michigan+Trip+2011+043.JPG" /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620729725520862642" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiblaT1rasRVZd1_oq1xk4mCPj8Jj_afP1RdNoSlFq6rryFOIvoc_ocRjID0jeqWOh2-HABnf4eN3JBoQ82rZB3yx0tvwTnHZtFixa9tuwtSX8vOXsBD9A8ekDne9zH4vahyEEoIyZVtw/s320/Michigan+Trip+2011+035.JPG" /></div></div></div><br /><br /><p></p><br /><p>Every time I look at these pictures they make me smile. Make me feel at peace and relaxed. I guess to keep that state of mind I need to look at these pictures more often.</p>Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-71346606262697960902011-06-19T12:29:00.000-07:002011-06-19T12:31:29.505-07:00Dear God,Please allow my body to be able to carry a pregnancy to term. Please Lord, help me to make my husband a father of living children so that next Father's Day we will actually be able to spend it in joy, rather than sorrow. Please make me a mommy and the husband a daddy. Please.<br /><br />Love, meMrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-52882534906877926142011-05-30T12:31:00.000-07:002011-05-30T12:53:50.656-07:00A new beginningI start my happiness project at this web site:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx">http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx</a><br /><br />This website has an Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire. I found this in the book that I am currently reading; <u>The Happiness Project</u>. I figured it is a good place to start. Hey, a girls gotta start somewhere.<br /><br />On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the most happiest, I scored a 3.13. I wonder how this will change as my life goes on with this journey of mine.Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-45922751667747527992011-05-29T19:36:00.000-07:002011-05-29T19:39:04.907-07:00The Happiness ProjectToday I have started to read <u>The Happiness Project</u>. I'm hoping that after completion of this book I can start my own happiness project. I just need to do something with my life. This whole <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">negativity</span> of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">TTC</span> has really brought me down. I need to look at what makes my life happy. Whats the good in my life. I'm on a mission to discover this happiness. Maybe it will make my journey to motherhood a bit easier too.<br /><br />Here's to hoping!Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-8811539256185285752011-05-25T13:16:00.000-07:002011-05-25T13:27:41.730-07:00BrokenMy heart is breaking.<br /><br />I feel like I am being torn apart.<br /><br />I feel all alone.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Trying to become a mother has been the hardest thing for me both financially and emotionally. Seeing people become parents hurts the most. Especially when you know that they are under no financial way to even go out and buy a $1 burger from McDonald's. Or those that do drugs. People who don't even have a home. Why can't I have a child? I have all of those things.<br /><br />Except, my body is broken.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />My body is literally killing my children. I feel responsible for what is happening, but its not my fault. I was born this way. And people miscarriages are not contagious! What i have you cannot catch. I wish I didn't have this. Wish I didn't have to base my life around the clock.<br /><br />6am - vitamins and aspirin<br />6pm - vitamins<br />7pm - heparin<br />9pm - prometrium<br /><br /><br />Or have scheduled days for sex. Really this is supposed to be something enjoyable, not planned and ordered.<br /><br /><br /><br />I guess I am just tired of not having what my heart yearns for. i want to be a mother, but will it ever happen??<br /><br />Yes, i finally have the tools to get there, but will I get there before we go broke.<br /><br /><br />I'm sorry dear husband for not being able to gift us a child..........<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm tired of being broken......Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-30776840709969407592011-04-28T18:30:00.000-07:002011-04-28T18:33:38.863-07:00BruisedToday I took my 6th injection of heparin, 6th dose of aspirin. I'm starting to have some bruising from the injections, but am soo thankful for them. I call those bruises "bruises of love." I love having them because I KNOW that we finally have an answer to our reoccurring miscarriages. I'm thankful for the possibility to be having a child soon. Test day is Tuesday. I'm anxious to see what that day brings!Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6322186935016962038.post-30090242138289796632011-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:002011-04-24T09:23:56.279-07:00Versatile Blogger Award<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEskIwTBrxmQIhZHsBl1gS5J3GAZ5p4Nk1CBrP-Dl5HZuj-jiJpLvw_Qc-_NvrMW3dX91tjcvKKMxnLCUI2YHUb9TSc1hY5FwXsYHUHVupF5O70yvsCsuhq7ij8VPy_8cWrY4lTX658vw/s1600/VersatileBloggerAward.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5599179037589796194" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEskIwTBrxmQIhZHsBl1gS5J3GAZ5p4Nk1CBrP-Dl5HZuj-jiJpLvw_Qc-_NvrMW3dX91tjcvKKMxnLCUI2YHUb9TSc1hY5FwXsYHUHVupF5O70yvsCsuhq7ij8VPy_8cWrY4lTX658vw/s320/VersatileBloggerAward.png" /></a> A HUGE thank you goes to <a href="http://myinfertilityhurts.blogspot.com/">http://myinfertilityhurts.blogspot.com/</a> I</div><br /><div align="center">was not expecting to get an award. To be truthful I haven't</div><br /><div align="center">been great at writing on here lately....</div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">The Rules:</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">1. Winners ~ Put the above image in your blog</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">2. Include a link back to the person who gave it to you</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">3. Tell 10 things about yourself</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">4. Award 15 other bloggers</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">5. Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they won</span></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="left">10 things about me:</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">1. My husband and i have been trying to have children since Aug 2008. We found out that my body is killing our children by cutting out their nutritional supply by using blood clots (brutal I know).</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">2. I have my teaching license, just cannot find a job thanks to this economy.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">3. I lived in Germany for 4yrs, while the Berlin Wall came down. My dad was in the military.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">4. I have two black labs, Rosco and Daisy, who I love to pieces.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">5. I enjoy reading, I just don't have the time.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">6. I love to go walking, yet I have no one to walk with, so I either go alone or don't go at all...</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">7. I play the Sims and build the dream version of myself.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">8. I love to paint my toe nails.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">9. No Doubt is the best music group!!!</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">10. I'm terrified of needles, yet my husband has to give me injections for APAS..</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">My 15 awards go to.........<br /></div><br /><div align="left">1. <a href="http://www.stoneyville.net/">http://www.stoneyville.net/</a></div><br /><div align="left">2. <a href="http://angelbabyalexandra.blogspot.com/">http://angelbabyalexandra.blogspot.com/</a></div><br /><div align="left">3.<a href="http://dreamingnorth.blogspot.com/">http://dreamingnorth.blogspot.com/</a></div><br /><div align="left">4. <a href="http://rogandjessica.blogspot.com/">http://rogandjessica.blogspot.com/</a></div><br /><div align="left">5. <a href="http://mylifeafterloss.blogspot.com/">http://mylifeafterloss.blogspot.com/</a></div>Mrs.Hunt2006http://www.blogger.com/profile/05231056517997448675noreply@blogger.com2