Bits and pieces of becoming a mom: fun

Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Walk with a View

I decided to capture the moments in my life when I am out walking with pictures. This way I have some sort of visual reminder of what made me happy while I was walking. These pictures are of a walk I took on our recent vacation to Michigan.

Every time I look at these pictures they make me smile. Make me feel at peace and relaxed. I guess to keep that state of mind I need to look at these pictures more often.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Versatile Blogger Award

A HUGE thank you goes to http://myinfertilityhurts.blogspot.com/ I

was not expecting to get an award. To be truthful I haven't

been great at writing on here lately....

The Rules:

1. Winners ~ Put the above image in your blog

2. Include a link back to the person who gave it to you

3. Tell 10 things about yourself

4. Award 15 other bloggers

5. Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they won

10 things about me:

1. My husband and i have been trying to have children since Aug 2008. We found out that my body is killing our children by cutting out their nutritional supply by using blood clots (brutal I know).

2. I have my teaching license, just cannot find a job thanks to this economy.

3. I lived in Germany for 4yrs, while the Berlin Wall came down. My dad was in the military.

4. I have two black labs, Rosco and Daisy, who I love to pieces.

5. I enjoy reading, I just don't have the time.

6. I love to go walking, yet I have no one to walk with, so I either go alone or don't go at all...

7. I play the Sims and build the dream version of myself.

8. I love to paint my toe nails.

9. No Doubt is the best music group!!!

10. I'm terrified of needles, yet my husband has to give me injections for APAS..

My 15 awards go to.........

1. http://www.stoneyville.net/

2. http://angelbabyalexandra.blogspot.com/

3.http://dreamingnorth.blogspot.com/

4. http://rogandjessica.blogspot.com/

5. http://mylifeafterloss.blogspot.com/

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Dear icicle,

Dear icicle,

I can see you growing oh so long at the edge of our roof. But i suppose I should have known not to walk under you! Ouch! Thanks for falling on my head. It gives me a reminder that I need to knock you down before you do that to me again!!

Love, me

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ice Ice Baby

We are in the midst of ice storm 2011. This is said to be one of the largest storms in US History in 30 years!! The storm started last night around 6pm and will continue until late Wed.

Here's what I woke up to.......

I think I need to invest in some ice skates. We are prepared to lose power. Thankfully I'm not having to go to work today. I would much rather have the school kids safe than be out in this crazy weather.

Stay safe everyone. We are living on a big slip and slide!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

12 grapes, red panties

The time: December 26, 2010
The Place: Living room couch with laptop in toe
What: Googleing

That day I spent my afternoon looking up New Year's traditions or superstitions for fertility. There are many many things out there, trust me. I decided to try a few.

12 grapes
As I was conducting my research I found that grapes symbolize fertility. Good fertility to be exact. The one that produces great eggs and many babies. Yep that's what I want. Good eggs and many many babies. Here's the catch, you had to eat twelve grapes at the stroke of midnight in the new year. Each grape represents one month of the new year. The first grape is Jan, second Feb, and so on.... The taste of the grape tells you your fertility outlook for the year. I will get to my grapes in a minute.

red panties
Another silly tradition is to wear red panties. Red symbolizes romance. And we know that you need romance to make babies. You are supposed to ware red panties on new years eve. At the stroke of midnight you are to turn them inside out. On Jan 2, you MUST throw them away as it would bring bad luck in the romance department. I actually had to go out and buy some red panties.

New Year's Eve 2010
As I sit in my pj's, red undies underneath, watching Carson in New York waiting for the ball to drop, grapes in hand, I think about how silly and desperate I look. Isn't it funny what we would do to help benefit our fertility. Especially those of us who have experienced pregnancy/infant loss. We would do anything to help our bodies better for pregnancy. In hopes that we someday have a successful pregnancy.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!

Take off those red panties and turn them around. Check
Eat 12 grapes. Check

How fascinating is this! ALL of my grapes were SWEET! This means that I will have sweet things that happen with my fertility. How fun is that!!!

Sweet grape of January
Yep, my first sweet grape. Battling infertility is one of the hardest, most emotionally trying things I have ever had to experience. If someone was to walk out and say that I was going to have some good luck with infertility, I would probably laugh. But these sweet grapes have given me a bit of hope.

So, how has my fertility this month been? Pretty sweet I would say.

First off... I got some great news! My cd21 progesterone was the highest it had ever been at the lovely level of 39. I was so stoked about this number that I couldn't really think of anything, but going to poas just 8 days later. When that time came, the test was negative. I felt crushed. Then I started to look on the bright side. I knew that things were moving in the right direction. This was the first time we had a good level! My body is starting to respond to this treatment. What a plus!!!

I started my next round of clomid at 100mg. This cycle, I wasn't really expecting much. That's just how it seems to go with my body. One month is fantastic, the next is horrid. I was a little crushed by this as well. Then I started to feel things. Things on both sides of my uterus. Things on both sides of my reproductive system. Could it be? Are both sides going to ovulate this month?

I went in for my cd 14 ultrasound to check and see how those follies of mine were doing. Lo and behold this was the BEST ultrasound I have ever had! I had so many good sized ruptured follies on both sides! Everything looked great. Going into this appointment I was sure that it was going to be bad news, but after seeing that screen and hearing those words "best ultrasound ever" made my life change.

I know I'm going to be a mommy soon. With each new cycle of clomid good things happen.

For Feb, I'm hoping for a good cd21 progesterone level (2nd of the month) and a bfp. If a bfp does not come I will know that next cycle will be even better.

Positive outcomes only.

"For nothing is impossible with God." Matthew 1:37

Monday, January 24, 2011

Dreams....

All of us dream. Some of them we remember, some we want to forget, some we can't seem to remember. What if it's reoccurring? What if it's to the T the same dream that you had a few months ago?

That's whats happening to me.

Since I've been on clomid I've been having this reoccurring dream. It's always exactly the same.

It's day 28 and I poas, negative. Of course. Two days later AF arrives. I haul my beautiful self to the pharmacy to pick up my rx for clomid. On days 3-7 I take that blessed clomid and have the normal pinching feelings. Then I go in for my cd14 ultrasound. The tech Patty does goes right to the internal one. (those are no fun) She starts talking and then stops. Smiles. Says "Well Stacy, It looks like you are 8wks pregnant." I freak out start talking about how its not possible because AF was here. Then freak out even more because I've taken clomid and fear for my child.

I then, wake up.

Not sure why this keeps happening to me. Why I keep having this dream.. Maybe it's my fear of something being wrong with a pregnancy? Maybe its my deep desire of wanting a baby? Whatever the reason I'm not sure. I just know that I need to expect it to happen every month right before my cd 14 ultrasound....

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 15 ~ My dream house

Can be seen here: http://www.dreamhomesource.com/craftsman_house-plans_DHSW53816.hwx

I want a home with loads of windows on the back of the house. I want the house on a hill. I want there to be a woods beyond the hill so we can sit looking out the window at the changing seaons. But most of all I want a house filled with babies. My babies. Human babies.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

DAY 13 ~ A fictional book

This is really hard for me. I am such a book lover. Ok, so my favorite fictional is: My Sisters Keeper.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

DAY 12 ~ I'm OCD about...

The way the dishes are washed!! Here's the line up:
1. plastic cups
2. glass cups
3. silverware and cooking utensils
4. plates
5. containers
6. Things with ooey gooey's on them like pots and pans

I just hate thinking that people was them in another order than this! The things that touch my mouth first will be washed first!! I dont want my forks sitting in a sink of ooey gooey things only then to be placed in my mouth!!!

You know husband, if we just had a dishwasher life would be soo much better!!

DAY 11 ~ A recent photo

This photo is of my husband and I. I think it was taken about two weeks ago. We were actually sitting at the computer researching my hormone disorder. Ironic.

Monday, August 16, 2010

DAY 10 ~ A picture of me 10 years ago

This was in 2001. I was on my senior trip in Florida. I'm the one in the blue stripped tank. I think we were at Hard Rock Cafe. It was such a great time.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

DAY 9 ~ I took this picture

Ok So I need to keep going with this to keep my mind off of the TTC mess that currently houses my brain.

I know the picture is side ways, I really couldnt get it to flip. This is a picture of my SIL, her boy friend, my hubs and me at the 2010 March of Dimes event. This was such an amazing day.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

DAY 7 & 8 ~ A happy and sad photo

This picture.....Well, it really is the best of both worlds. At first I was extremely happy when this was taken. Now it makes me yearn for this baby.

The day mommy and daddy got to see you for the first time Baby J was just so amazing. We heard your beautiful heartbeat and saw you moving around. I decided to make copies of this photo and put it in frames. One for me and daddy and one for each of your grandmothers. That was the best day of my life.

Then when we had that appt where we found out you stopped growing. I came home, saw your picture in the frame. I don't think I've ever cried soo much.

To this day whenever I look at that picture my soul becomes flooded with joy and sorrow. I know eventually I will have a child growing and staying with me.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

To my dearest Daisy,

Your tail is attached.....

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

DAY 6 ~ 20 favorite things

"These are a few of my favorite things......."

My husband

My sweet doggies, Rosco and Daisy

My angel babies

My family

My dearest friends

My job as a teacher

The smell of playdough

Chicken (I could live off of this food)

Butterflies

Ice cream

Books, books, books!!

Music

Swimming my day away

The feel of the sun against my skin

Snuggeling with my husband and my doggies

Purple

The smell of bleach

Clean clothes and sheets

My home

My car

DAY 5 ~ My favorite quote

This quote ties into my favorite movie, Meet the Robinsons. This quote was the reoccuring theme throughout the duration of the movie. I guess it really helps me through my life. It really pushes me.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things,

because we are curious, and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths"

~Walt Disney

DAY 4 ~ My favorite book

This is a hard one for me. I'm a teacher, avid reader, and book nut....It's going to be hard to choose. There was a time when one book slips out of my favorites only to return a month later. Okay I think it's time to go look in my book shelf........................How can I possibly choose one book out of my zillion books!!! AHH!!!!!

Okay deep breaths....

In....

Out....

My all time favorite book is.......The Wizard of Oz! There is just something about that book that captures all of my mind, all of my attention, all of my love.